Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
