Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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