I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
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