hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
The uberlube is also flammable
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
