Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
he was CRYING into my vagina
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
