your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
