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the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
