I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
