my vag is so smooth its legendary
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
