I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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