I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
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First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
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There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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