Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
there is puke in my bra ... again
Randomize
