i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
