It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
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