He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
I just gift wrapped bread.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I party with great urgency now.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
