True but thats because hes a fetus.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
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