So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
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