the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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