It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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