Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
i now understand why vodka
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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