she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
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When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
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My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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