remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
