is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
