Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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