so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
