hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
