Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
My sheets look like a crime scene.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
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