Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
25 People Share How They Got Out Of Their Longest Dry Spell
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
21 People Confess Their Craziest Online Dating Experience
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.