my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
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My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
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dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?