I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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