New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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