He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
