Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Randomize