operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
