so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
