next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
So vagazzling was a success
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
