you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
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Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize