Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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