but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
i think i have herpe
just one?
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Randomize
