Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Randomize
