god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
