your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
