Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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