I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
