We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
