he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Randomize
