You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
