White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
I just gift wrapped bread.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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