She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
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