I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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