we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Randomize
