I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
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