I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
i think my cat just said my name.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Randomize
