Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
