sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
