so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
