please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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