i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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