So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize