forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
