Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Randomize
