I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
it glows. i had to have it.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're too hungover to prance.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.