i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
