We're facebook friends in real life
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
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