theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Randomize
