Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
there is puke in my bra ... again
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