I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
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